Let's Talk is a social isolation awareness program being organized by the Ministry of Social Affairs and Housing. By doing this, the ministry hopes to raise public awareness of the seriousness of social isolation and the ways in which we can all contribute to its solution.
Do you have the feeling that someone in your local area is becoming socially isolated?
Social isolation has been defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) as a public health problem, as well as smoking, alcohol overdose, obesity and other major threats to public health. Social isolation is also much more common than people suspect.
Did you know that social isolation increases the risk of cardiovascular disease and dementia?
Did you know that one in 3 adults is socially isolated?
Did you know that social isolation increases the risk of depression and anxiety?
Did you know that social isolation increases the risk of premature death?
Did you know you could help?
Common misunderstanding about social isolation
Anyone can experience social isolation.
The causes of social isolation are multifaceted. It is estimated that about one in ten young people experience social isolation and about a quarter of older people. The death of a spouse or divorce, illness, break-up, job loss and other traumas can all be reasons why people withdraw into a shell or lose contact with the local community. It can happen to anyone.
Social isolation is not the same as social sufficiency. Almost all human beings have a need for connection and some kind of intimacy. Being "all by myself" and socially isolated is not the same thing.
People can experience social isolation even if they are in a successful marriage. Not to mention the isolation that occurs when there is violence. It is not uncommon that one party in a relationship is dependent on the other regarding social relations. It neglects even its own network because of the rich social agenda of the spouse.
There are various ways to break social isolation. Both the individual himself and the community around him have a number of resources.
Individuals
The first wall of defence against social isolation is ourselves. Being aware of our own well-being, social status and health and taking active responsibility for improving the situation is key in preventing and dealing with social isolation.
Have you recently moved to a new place where you know few people? Have you recently lost someone close to you? Have you recently lost your job or retired due to age or illness?
Have you had hearing impairment or have it worsened recently?
Do you have a disability that restricts you in your daily life?
Do you have a disease that you find awkward to discuss with others?
Do you find it difficult to communicate with people you don’t know much?
If you have answered one of these questions positively, there is a higher risk of social isolation. The more questions that fit you, the greater the risk.
This does not mean that everyone who answers these questions is in fact isolated, it just means that we need to be even more careful about our relationships with other people and even take measures to combat isolation.
The following is a discussion of each of these factors and possible responses.
Social isolation is subtle and often sneaks up on people. It can happen suddenly, but it can also take over slowly and gradually. Certain events can increase the likelihood of social isolation and initiate processes that cause it to intensify. It is therefore important, after major changes, to be aware of whether social connections or opportunities for participation in social life have decreased. Then it's good to ask yourself: "Do I have fewer opportunities for communication than before or do I go out to socialize less often than before?"
Hearing loss Any type of health deficiency can make people reluctant to participate in social life. Hearing loss can e.g. cause people to find it uncomfortable to be in a crowd and experience insecurity in communication. Sometimes people are not aware of hearing loss, as it happens very slowly and gradually. Thus, it is difficult to nail down the point at which hearing loss begins to cause problems. It is simple to have a hearing test and even a preliminary test can be done with the help of a smartphone and headphones. Also, modern technology has made it both much simpler and cheaper to deal with hearing loss at different levels. It is also important to report hearing loss. People are always ready to show consideration.
Wear and tear or injury to the musculoskeletal system Wear and tear or injury to the musculoskeletal system; back, legs, knees and hips can have a very limiting effect on participation in social life. Pain and soreness when moving between places can reduce the desire to seek company. It is important to be aware of this and use the help that is available, such as driving services, aids and the help of others.
Other illnesses All kinds of illness can take a toll on your social life. The recovery process can be long and strenuous, draining us both physically and mentally.
Various events in our lives affect our identity. These can be events as far back as childhood such as bullying, family social difficulties or more recent events such as loss of social status, court cases, difficult relationships at work and many more.
A weak identity has a direct impact on how confident we are in relationships with others and whether we seek the company of others. Our shame or self-destructive speech makes us vulnerable to criticism or something we experience as rejection. This increases the likelihood that we will take a break.
Moving to a new environment can have a great impact on our social health. It is more important than ever to take control in your own hands. Be an initiative and ask for help if necessary to break isolation. Different types of courses and group work are a good way to connect with people with similar interests and in a safe environment.
If you live in a remote area, technology can help. It is important to find ways to interact with people in the real world as well. Going to regular meetings makes it more likely that we will be missed. For example, participate in choir activities even if they are not completely in the vicinity, participate in social activities, such as elderly social activities that don’t require a lot of attendance but where there is a regular presence.
Technology offers an important addition to such communication, as you can make friends anywhere in the world. It is also good to look up amateur associations or academic associations that appeal to your area of interest. Try again, you may not find your community at first attempt.
Social media can facilitate communication with friends and relatives when traveling long distances, but it is important to be aware of this when social media communication is starting to replace communication in the real world.
Also, a large presence on social media can encourage unfair comparisons, increase anxiety and damage our self-image. All of this makes us less secure and less likely to initiate communication with acquaintances or strangers.
What can I do?
It is important to take control of your own life, although it can be difficult. There are ways that increase and facilitate social interaction.
It is very useful to establish a structure on social life and put things in the calendar. Let’s invite people for coffee at a certain time. Let’s find a reason to meet. People don’t meet by themselves.
It is important to take control of your own life, even if it can be difficult. There are ways to increase and facilitate social interaction.
It makes it easier to communicate with strangers about your common interests. It is easier to start a conversation if it is based on what you have in common, e.g. outdoor activities, hand-crafting, cooking, reading books or whatever else. Explore what is available in the community or online. Joining some kind of club or association gives a good opportunity to expand your group of acquaintances.
Attending an event in the local community also makes you active without necessarily requiring a lot of communication. It is good to start there if you have difficulties communicating with strangers. Chicken steps are steps too.
These can be events at the nearest community centre, sports competitions or concerts. It is likely that the people attending a concert or sporting event have a number of things in common with you.
Tips to facilitate communication
It takes time to get to know new people or to re-establish old friendships. Celebrate every step forward and make sure you give yourself and others the time needed to develop your relationship. It is also important to be as patient with yourself as you are with other people.
We all have different social leanings. Social isolation can cause us to feel weary at first, and to be in contact with other people can simply cause us to feel tired. Just as when we want to get back into shape after a long sedentary life, it is important to be patient and not go for it on our own.
Even if someone seems full of confidence, we don't know anything about how they actually feel. Is it possible that people will see you that way? Anxiety is not always seen on people's faces.
Everyone misjudges themselves or loses their attention every now and again. That doesn't make you a worse interviewer. Most of us are much more judgmental about ourselves than others.
Most people don't give much thought to the small-scale clumsiness of others. It is important to remember to show ourselves the same kind of lens that we would show others.
Most people are familiar with falling into self-destruction or paying too much attention to their “flaws”. But is this internal criticism justified? Would we say things like that to other people?
Take the time to protest and find a new interpretation of what you think is negative or has failed.
Example 1: When I get stressed, I talk too much and it is embarrassing for me and others.
A more positive interpretation: Maybe people just think I’m open and sincere
Example 2: People don’t invite me to participate in anything because they think I’m boring.
Possible more positive interpretation: People don’t invite me because they don’t know I want to be there, maybe I need to take the first step?
Breathe deeply before we enter social situations. Breathing deeply several times can be sufficient to reduce anxiety. Slow down and let us respond to communication in a more positive way. Don't put pressure on us to say something privately; you can also pause and listen.
It can be difficult to engage in communication if your focus is constantly on your own well-being and performance. Try to imagine that you will put the interviewer in the spotlight and focus on what they say or do. This can give you a break from self-concept and censorship.
Look at the interviewer, can you compliment him? Nice shoes, interesting topic?
Instead of avoiding social situations, think of them as exercise. We don't need to hit the road the first time, rather than the first time we try high jumps. Chances are that we will perform and gain more confidence each time we try.
Ask open questions to continue the conversation and show interest in the interviewer
Relatives and local community
Whether we are family, neighbors, friends or other relatives, it is natural to feel responsible and want to help the people around us. Family members are in the best position to support people who are at risk of becoming socially isolated or to help those who are already isolated. Intervening as soon as possible is of great help. Here is a variety of practical information, which is useful for those who want to support relatives who are isolating themselves socially. At Heilsuvera there are also useful tips to reduce loneliness.
Stay alert
IIf we notice that a neighbor or relative does not leave the house much or at all, it is a good idea to check how he is feeling. It can be good to have something to say if we don't trust ourselves to ask directly about our well-being or condition. For example, in an apartment building, you can use the positive aspects of the housing association (e.g. don't go to complain if we are worried about a neighbor) but offer to help with Christmas decorations, ask for an opinion on something or repeat an invitation to a pizza party after a certain day
It is good to remember that our relationships with people are different and require different approaches and communication. One size does not fit all.
"Going into the shell" is a subtle and often irrational development, which is difficult to put into words or point out. People who are socially isolating are unlikely to report at first. Let's trust our feeling and ask rather than let it go. If there is no problem, no harm is done.
People can take different lengths of time to recover from various types of trauma. The longer the recovery takes, the more difficult it can be to step back into society and reconnect with the people around you.
We can see many signs of social isolation in our environment. Cars and bicycles can remain immobile for days or weeks. Mail is uploaded to the mailbox.
Showing sympathy and concern for neighbors is not snooping. In today's society, it is becoming more and more urgent to work against this feeling. Social isolation is a growing problem in all age groups.
What can we do?
Finding a reason to knock on people's doors can be helpful. Ask for advice on something, borrow something, talk about the environment and neighbors. Is there a cleaning day coming up in the house? Is there a project coming up that would be ideal to seek their advice on? Can I borrow tools or household items? Not everything needs to be resolved on the first visit. Just looking around and asking "how are you?" Have a quick coffee chat. Then you can ask: "Do you mind if I stop by again soon, just to check on you?"
It can be comforting for people who are socially isolated to feel that people care about them. Calling or coming back for a visit can do a lot for their well-being and confidence.
It also increases trust and the chances of a person trusting us with the situation.
If communication is strained, it is good to have some tasks to solve together. Conversations about shared experiences are easier than finding something to talk about, especially if we don't know the person well. Walking or car trips, swimming trips or even "plucking" can create good conditions for talking together. Some people find it easier to talk to someone who is walking or sitting parallel to them than someone who is sitting directly across from them.
Important to keep in mind
People do not become socially isolated overnight. Chronic isolation affects both physical and mental health. People often need to practice before they are ready to engage in social interaction to any extent again.
All you have to do is listen! It's good to listen with an open mind, people's problems are all kinds and often different from our own.
Ask open-ended questions to encourage new thinking. What do you want to do now? What would you like to change? Can I help you with something? Is there something you've always wanted to try but didn't trust yourself?
This text was translated from Icelandic using a machine translation. Be advised that content generated by machine translation can be inaccurate or flawed.
